Advantage Denton

May 25, 2009

Memorial

Filed under: Melissa Denton Posts — Melissa Denton @ 5:50 pm

Memorial Day makes me think about some pretty heavy concepts. Freedom. War. Dying for your country. Being remembered. Remembering. This holiday, dedicated to the memory of those who have served and sacrificed as members of our military, is quite complex to me.

One factor is that this holiday is the primary government holiday that occurs when nature is renewing itself and spring is bursting forth. The solemn duty to remember and appreciate the sacrifices of those whose lives ended prematurely is quite a contrast with the light and joyous spring we are so ready to enjoy. The Christian holiday of Easter has a similar solemn cast and takes place in spring time. I wonder why?

How, exactly, are we supposed to feel during this Memorial Day holiday? It seems that a heavy measure of guilt threatens to mix in with the gratitude we are supposed to feel toward people we did not personally know who did things that we don’t precisely know about for reasons that perhaps no one ever really understood. Patriotism may seem like a simple concept to some, but I consider it very complicated.

Quite a few folks are standing ready to criticize those who do not exhibit sufficient respect toward the war dead at this holiday time. Are we supposed to feel sad that lives were cut short when people intentionally killed each other in war? Of course we are. Are we supposed to feel guilty that the lives were lost in pursuit of goals we hold sacred and benefit from, like freedom? Would a young soldier whose life was taken on a battlefield be angry at those of us who have barbecues and celebrate this holiday weekend? Is it normal at this time to experience anguish about the fact that sometimes military members die due to foolish mistakes?

While appreciating the service and sacrifice of our military members is obviously valuable and right, this holiday is not simple. It is important, though.

May 17, 2009

Fish Out of Water

Filed under: Melissa Denton Posts — Melissa Denton @ 6:56 pm

When confronted with a legal problem or an opportunity where you need your legal rights and options protected, it is not easy to figure out what the first steps should be. Lots of people believe that they should research to learn what they can about their issues. This is a good idea, as long as you make sure that you don’t think you can find all of the answers or that everything you hear or see is correct. Sometimes you can ask a question on some web site and someone will answer it. Don’t count on that answer fixing anything for you because you likely don’t know what questions you should be asking and any answer (even one from me) is going to have limited value because it will be out of context.

After you do some research and make sure to keep it clear in your mind that you don’t know all of the answers, it is really smart to have a consultation with an attorney who really knows the right area of law and the court that may become involved. To figure out how to find this lawyer involves an entirely different set of research skills and evaluation knowledge base from the information about your legal issues. Many lawyers can be found online, but a lot of the best ones are not as easy to find. The lawyers who are easiest to find are sometimes the last lawyer you would want to hire.

It is probably pretty controversial for me to say this, but the lawyers who pay the most for advertising are often not the right lawyer for you. Having the biggest advertisement or participating in a service where the lawyer has to pay a lot of money to be listed means that you, the client, are paying for that advertising budget when you pay higher legal fees to the lawyer so they can support that overhead cost. Companies that say they will have lawyers compete to serve you or services which have lawyers signed up so they can give you a name off of a list often cost the lawyers a whole lot of money. The attorneys who have many returning clients and an excellent reputation will not need to pay all of this money to some company or service to send them clients. The right lawyer for you needs to be found by someone who knows how to look for them and how to evaluate the information about them.

Lawyer finders are not fish out of water when it comes to searching for the right lawyer for you. We know how to figure out what type of lawyer you need and we know how to figure out where that lawyer’s experience base needs to be located. We know how to comfortably communicate with lawyers, judges and other professionals who can give insight into who is the right lawyer. If you are not trained in lawyer finding, you will be a fish out of water when you try to figure out which lawyer to get advice from. Let us help you with this important step in resolving your legal matter. You will be so glad to have the relief of good advice from the right attorney that it will make a huge difference in moving forward in life. Don’t take your chances on your limited experience base and research skills. Have us find the right lawyer for you.

May 9, 2009

Mother’s Day

Filed under: Melissa Denton Posts — Melissa Denton @ 8:54 am

This holiday, more than most, brings out mixed feelings in a lot of people. Although we have several other holidays in the U.S. that focus on family, this holiday focuses on motherhood, which is a sore point for a lot of people.

As a family lawyer and in my life experience, I have become aware of the fact that many people did not grow up in ideal families with perfect mothers. Some people have experienced infertility or have experienced the death of their child. Other people are hurt badly by choices their own children make and painfully question their own parenting.

When this holiday comes around, it can focus one on painful feelings about motherhood. I bring this up each year because I am acutely aware of my own joy and good fortune and of the fact that Mother’s Day can trigger deeply felt hurts. When I went through many years of infertility before we adopted our son, this was a painful holiday for me even though I am so grateful to have a wonderful mother. Having a wonderful child and a fabulous mother and focusing on that status also makes me aware of how blessed I am and a bit fearful of losing them.

This holiday is fun and sacred to those of us who are so grateful for the devoted love and hard work our mothers gave us. We are glad to have the opportunity to give so much to our own children and grandchildren and for what they bring to our lives. I think Mother’s Day is also an opportunity to be sure to reach out to the other people in our lives who may be wounded in this most vulnerable area. Best wishes for a loving Mother’s Day to everyone.

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